Tomorrow, I’m going to the race track to spend some time with friends, drink some Coors Lite and Lemonade, and bet on the ponies.
I can’t think of a better way to spend The Bro’s birthday. Ok, I can, but I can’t afford a ticket to fly to him right now.
Now, I’ve had some success betting on the ponies (and by some I mean some. Not a lot. But considering my betting vs. winning, I come out about even every year.)
Success is success right? And I like to share my successes with you. (How To, not the actual money. I already spent that.)
There are many ways to pick ponies. My grandfather (who is an avid horse racing fan) subscribes to a theory much like this.
That is far too constricting for me though. (Also, after a few drinks my ADD kicks in harder core and it’s too complicated.) Besides, it’s not Bold or Sassy.
So what is a Cute~Ella to do? Well, I’ll tell you.
A few ground rules first: You don’t have to bet if you don’t like a race. Never bet more than you can afford to lose. Don’t get mad if you don’t win. Make fun of as many people in bad and expensive outfits as you can. Doubly if they’re wearing rediculous hats. Take a packet of tissues and antibacterial wipes. It’s not Countryfest bathrooms, but they’re not pretty. Wear sunscreen.
FIRST. I like to bet NUMBERS. The easiest way I found to pick the numbers is by using Birthdays of friends, family and other dearly connected and loved ones.
You go through the book and pick as many birthdays as you can for the people near and dear to you. Month and day.
For example – my birthday is on April 3 so therefore I must bet on the horse in the Third slot in the Fourth race. (Should the Third horse scratch, I go with the First one because 4/1 is NotSoSweetPea’s birthday or the Fourth or Fifth horse because I have dear friends with 4/4 and 4/5 as birthdays.)
The Bro’s birthday is August 1 so I go to the Eighth race and pick the First horse.
I typically bet mine, my brothers, my mom and dad. If I’m dating someone, I might toss in their birthday for fun and entertainment.
See how easy that is? I like to bet $2 to show on each of them. Click here for info on Show, Place, Win.)
(Note, if I have winnings from previous races, I might put $26 on the the 8/1 horse. The Bro will be 26. We’ll see how I feel about it when I get there.)
SECOND. I go through each race and find the NAMES of the horses I like. I’m liking the name “Malibu Moonshine”, “Phantom Gunslinger”, and several from the 6th race.
If there’s no NAMES I like that’s ok. I don’t need to bet.
Again, unless something really makes your tummy say, “HEY!” put $2 on your horse to show.
THIRD. If you haven’t picked a horse based on the first two methods, you may employ my aunt’s favorite method after picking all horses with some sort of “cat” word in the name.
Horse color and jockey outfit color. She bets grey horses over brown, if she likes the color combination the jockey is wearing and an extra dollar if the horse and the jockey look good together.
If the horse you’re betting on is a long shot? Put an extra dollar on it.
Now there are other things you can do like boxing, picking a trifecta etc. but I don’t really understand them so I don’t bother.
I’m not there to win money, I’m there to play and have fun…if I win money? BONUS.
Questions? Good luck!
Gambling Problem? The New York Racing Association encourages responsible wagering. If gambling is a problem for you or someone you care about, help is available 24 hours a day. Call toll-free 1-800-437-1611 or 1-800-522-4700.